


Maybe we just lived between hurting and healing

by enbypitch (endinflames)



Series: Hurting and healing [1]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Domestic Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Fluffy Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, Gay Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, M/M, Non-binary Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Post-Watford (Simon Snow), SnowBaz, They/Them Pronouns for Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, They/Them Pronouns for Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, Trans Simon Snow, Trans Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Trans man Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Loves Simon Snow, baz uses he/they ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:42:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22901149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endinflames/pseuds/enbypitch
Summary: After a whole life of hurting, Simon and Baz finally get to healing. Baz adores it.(The first drabble of a collection of SnowBaz fluffy stories where they’re gay, trans, and finally happy.)
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Hurting and healing [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1875658
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	Maybe we just lived between hurting and healing

**BAZ**

Simon Snow is lying on the sofa.

A few months ago, I’d feel completely devastated if I found him like this. It used to be bad, seeing him lying on the couch. It used to mean that we – more specifically, _I_ – had failed helping him, once again.

It would mean that he was stuck and suffering because of his depression, his insecurities and all his trauma, that he still hated seeing our faces – _my_ face; the _slightest sight_ of me. Which meant I was, once again, loving him absolutely _hopelessly_. That he found himself a failure, an “absolute fuckup” (his words, of fucking course, not mine), thinking he was making me _suffer_. Being sure that, if I didn’t, he had to end _this_. End _us._

But now, everything is over. I’ve never been happier. I’ve never felt more _alive._

And – and I couldn’t feel better about saying this – Simon Snow is absolutely _thriving._

He’s never looked better. It amazes how every day that passes Snow manages to look more and more handsome than he used to. It’s a shame, really – every time I look at him, I’m more and more certain that he’s the most beautiful person in the whole world. No one could ever compare to him. The delicious moles and freckles, those perfect blue eyes. The beautiful scars in his chest. He’s grown his hair again, longer than it used to be when he was still at Watford, now not because he was growing it out on neglect, but because he likes it. I probably had something to do with it too; despite my best efforts, he knows I personally _love_ his hair when it’s longer. His perfect golden curls bouncing when he walks and shining with light only make him look more and more like the sun.

I’d say he _is_ my sun – except I hate the sun in my eyes, and I _immensely_ _adore_ the sight of Simon. Also, if he were the sun, I’d still be crashing into him. This _would_ end in flames. And this _can’t_ end like that. Not now, that we’re finally so freaking happy I might actually explode. Not now, that the war is over, and _everything else_ is over, and we’re allowed to _feel_. Not now, that we’re _finally_ good with ourselves, and with each other. After so much hurting, I don’t know what I’d do if this ended just as we finished going through healing.

His skin is so warm against mine. Or maybe I’m just too cold. Either way, lying on Simon’s chest is probably the most marvelous – and yet perfectly overwhelming – thing I’ve done.

Right now, it’s not that Simon Snow is lying on the couch. It’s that _I’m_ here with him.


End file.
